Friday, October 29, 2010

My dream home.

Fun blog time.
Here's my dream home!

My bedroom. I would probably put in wood floors though.

I also like this bedroom. I can't decide.

My lounge area.

I like this bathroom.

But I loooooove this tub.

Kitchen/dining room/living room

There must be a pool and hot tub. The mountains are a plus.


If I had a baby girl, this would be her room.

And there you have it. :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


What a strange couple of months it's been.
It all started on a very stressful Thursday. Work was an absolute nightmare. I had to leave straight from work, go home, get my bass, go to church and practice with a bunch of grumpy old men.

Practice was a nightmare, as expected.
Driving home, traffic was terrible. My road rage started kicking in. I was going about 60 in a 45.

I black out.
I can't breathe.
My heart is pounding out of my chest.
I think I am dying.

I pull into my neighborhood and black out again. I have to pull over. I snap out of it just long enough to make it home.

I go in my room and start hyperventilating. I think I am having a heart attack and about to die. My vision is blurred. I have to lay down. I start crying histerically. This goes on for about 20 minutes.
Finally, I text my mom. "I think I just had a panic attack..."

I have several more for the next couple weeks. This is all new to me. I am scared to get out of bed, leave the house...anything. I am just scared.

Long story short, I have (had) serious anxiety and fear issues that I never knew I had. I have been meeting with a Christian counselor that has been helping me tremendously.

Finally, everything is starting to look up. After being diagnosed with severe anxiety and OCD...things are all starting to make sense and I am going through some healing. The worst is over. Everything is starting to look a little brighter.

I've been having dreams and visions that have confirmed my deliverance from these stupid demons. It's crazy.

Now I am just trying to figure out what my future holds. Right now everything is changing, things are not happening like I always thought they were...and I just have to put all my faith in Jesus because he's the only one who really knows.

We'll see what happens.

Monday, October 25, 2010


I have not been a very good blogger.

Don't worry...a lot has been going on and my next post will be deep and informative.